Rescue

What do you do when you see those whom you love drowning? You throw them a float, but they refuse it. They sink. The waters threaten to engulf their stone hearts. You go for the rescue. Some claw and kick their way out of your arms. Some reason and squirm away. Some lust after the very waters that kill them.

Dear brother who has been God’s unexpected gift to me, my heart still stings when I recall the day you shrugged your shoulders. How could one look into the perfect law, the law of liberty and miss it? Don’t settle for what the world offers! Christ is of surpassing worth! I pray and plead that you might someday see this. Believe! On that day, you’ll finally welcome death with a smile, knowing full well that it is but a narrow gate into eternity with your Beautiful Saviour.

Dear brother who is cursed with the gift of intellect, it hurts each time I catch a glimpse of your pain. My heart bleeds for your scars. You have studied the Scriptures so much more than me, yet… Stop banking on the wisdom of the world or the dark musings that dwell in your head. Christ is the answer, brother. That humiliated, poor criminal on the cross looks foolish to the world, but is God’s perfect wisdom! Would you humble yourself to surrender all to Him? There you’ll find the still waters you heart so desperately needs.

Dear sister whom I have hurt in the past, no words from me would heal the scar this foolish boy gave you. I am no one to demand an audience, but would you listen for a moment? You were with us for a while. Why did you leave? Do you not see that the thorns of the world will choke the implanted word in you? For a moment, you battled the enemy and fought well. Why surrender? Search no longer, Christ is the fountain of living waters! Only He will satisfy your thirst. No more futile lusting, no more fleeting numbings. Give your life to Him and take that much needed rest your soul needs.

Have mercy on our unclean souls O God! I plead with You for their lives. Will You not extend your grace to those whom You have died for?

the Anchor for the troubled soul

“… the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”

(James 1:6)

Why have You hidden Your face from me Father?

My soul is unsettled, tossed around by the winds of uncertainty

My mind is a Sargasso Sea of truths and lies, how do I tell which is which?

How long will You keep me here in this entangled mess?

My heart sinks and my guts rise like the waves

Thunderclouds of doubt obscure the Sun

Searching but not finding

Yearning but no receiving

When will I gaze upon glory again?

How long till I see your face?

Still I will praise Your Name

For you brought me out of darkness into light

From death into life

What have I but Your grace to me?

Such is the mystery of the trial:

That in the relentless tumult of the tempest

My soul is secure

sure and steadfast

Anchored to the Rock who was cleft for me.

“We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain”

(Hebrews 6:19)

Songs to Sing at Daniel’s Funeral

To whom it may concern, please do me the favour of having these songs sung in worship of the Lord during my funeral services. If it may be possible, do try to end off the funeral services with these two songs. If not, just singing them is fine. Thanks for the effort (:

1.       I asked the Lord that I might grow (sung in the tune of the hymn “When I Survey”)

The Lord has so decided, in His grace, to allow this hymn to comfort me in dark times. It is truly often in the exposing our the “hidden evils” of our hearts that we are set free from self and pride. When the Lord mercifully shows us how completely helpless we are, it is then that some of us find our Saviour! Praise the manifold wisdom of God, that He would allow His children to suffer for a season, to remind them of His goodness.

My departure may be a trying time for you, but never forget that that Lord is indeed good good good. Let’s sing of His greatness and seek our all in Him and Him alone.

2.       Because He Lives (sung loudly and with an upbeat tune)

Rejoice with me as the resurrection of our Lord gives us hope! The single-most important event in human history continues to be a refuge for us to rest in the hope that we do have a glorious future with our God. Because He lives, we can face the worries of tomorrow! Because our greatest worry, the fear of Hell, was crushed when He rose. There is no more need to fear.

Because He holds my future, I am indeed secure (: Life is for sure worth the living my friends, for we no longer live for ourselves, but for Him, in whom our life is hidden. I have been WAITING for the day that I cross the icy river of death, and I have done so praise God!!! Thanks be to God that the once feared demise of death is nothing but a gateway in GLORY. I am worshipping our God in full joy now. Rejoice for my sake. But more so, rejoice for He lives.

Your brother-in-Christ

Daniel

April Fools

On 01 Apr 2018, I was baptised as a Christian. Below is the testimony I made, with members of the church as witness, before the baptism.

He must increase, but I must decrease.

John 3:30

Hello. My name is Daniel and I’m 22 this year.

I was first exposed to Christianity when I was in sec2. Our neighbour had brought my family to church. There was an altar call and somehow, we ended up saying the sinners’ prayer.On  the following week, we received this letter in the mail congratulating us on being “Christians”.

Back then I didn’t know what being a follower of Jesus meant so I happily went around in my class telling everyone that I became a Christian. My Christian friend heard this and invited me to a picnic organised by SYFC. I gradually became more and more involved with SYFC in their weekly meetings outside school and their evangelistic efforts – sharing the gospel to friends, doing street evangelism, meeting students etc. All these I did, even up till today. But if I were to be completely honest, it was the friendships and fun games that kept me involved, not the desire to spread the “Good News” of Jesus Christ. Truth was, I didn’t see how good this Good News it was.

Well, something happened last year that made me suspect that I was only a Christian by external appearance. You see, ever since I was in sec3 I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. Maybe “addicted” is not the most accurate word to use, since, I wasn’t really aware of it. It was just something I did for fun, something to take away the stresses and boredoms of life and something I just couldn’t do without. As I served in SYFC and got more involved in church, I began to hear more and more of how these behaviours are really sinful acts. Pornography and masturbation are clearly wrong in God’s eyes. But since nobody asked, I just kept my secret and continued to indulge in it. There were many days where I would be hard at work serving God in the day, only to return home to do the very thing that I preached against at night.

A series of encounters last year made me rethink my conviction as a Christian. A friend asked me “For what did Jesus die for you?”. Any Christian who attends church will tell you that “Jesus died for my sin”. But this friend intended for us to reflect on the specific sin we did to cause God Himself to shed blood on the cross.

Before I could gather my thoughts, he shared with me his own response to the question: “For me, it’s my porn addiction.” I was shocked. But yeah, that was one of the important moments that led me to my next critical decision. I decided to seek help and talk to my DGLs about my addiction. It wasn’t easy, but I tell you now, when I finally confessed to them, I was so relieved. No more hiding. No more living a double life and being the biggest hypocrite.

Since then I have been on a long journey to rid myself of this terribly sinful habit. I kept myself accountable to them. Tried ways and means to cut off possible sources of temptation like social media. But I would always end up going back into it after a short period of abstinence. It was only the start of this year, when, I felt this unnatural fear after another relapse of this addiction. I felt as if I were on the verge of being cut off from God. Almost immediately after that, God showed me how much He loved me, an unlovable, ever failing sinner. John 15:3 reads: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." My Saviour has already shown His love for me in dying for me. Yet He is still so generous, that as I fail continually, He blesses me with such a loving and honest community to pray alongside me as I seek God over my failures. That fear, though less overwhelming nowadays, is still in me today. And that vision of love, I will never forget. I’m not proud to say this, but up till today, this is the longest period I have gone without a relapse. Only made possible by His power and His grace.

Funny thing is, before this, I could tell you all the logical and scientific arguments of why Jesus was real and Christianity was true. But I couldn’t answer honestly, that simple question that any Christian could, because I refused to acknowledge my sin! But now, I can confidently say that Jesus died for my sin, for my addiction. I can confidently say that I believe in Him as my LORD and Saviour. Because there’s literally nothing I can do on my own that will redeem me from my sin, I depend on Him who loved the unlovable to rescue me.

Because I’m thoroughly convicted that I’m a real sinner now, I believe in Jesus and call myself a Christian and Jesus follower. It may be hard at times, but I will gladly go to wherever my Lord calls me. All glory to Him and Him alone. Today, my commitment to be baptised will be the mark of my heavenward journey, to live my life solely for His wondrous purposes, because He is my God who loves me. No turning back.

There’s so much more I want to share: the lessons that my God has taught me through this journey, the people that He has brought to me and how He has been shaping my life to equip me for His calling.

But I think I’ve said enough, if you’re interested, feel free to talk to me and I’ll gladly talk more about how my Jesus is so amazing and so good.

the memoirs of Syndrome

I always wanted to be a hero. Soar the skies like Superman? Wage wild wars like Wolverine? Shoot lasers like Cyclops? Sign me up sir.

I’ll admit, even now I dream of being a hero. Though these days it’s often the escapades of anti-heroes like Venom or Deadpool that catch my eye. Maybe it’s just that I’ve seen the world in a clearer, less rosy light.

In a world rife with supernatural villainous forces, superheroes are seen, even worshipped as gods among men. And that’s the reason why I want to be a hero.

Wait.

Oh?

You think I give a hoot about the civilian population?

HAHAHA

What’s a hero without victims to save?

They’re nothing but pawns for me to escalate and flaunt my heroics.

If they survive, praise the Lord Almighty! But only because I risked my life for them.

If they don’t, well every mission has its collateral damage right?

Such is the fate of the weak and lost.

Oh? You think I’m evil now do you? Not fit for the title of “Hero” eh?

Wait till you see those who call themselves “Christian”.

Go. Ask them.

Why insist on going on arduous “mission trips” when the lost number plentiful among them? In their families. In their schools. In their workplaces.

Even in their churches.

Why push for greater budgets, only to erect newer, posher, buildings while the saints in persecution scrape for survival?

And you say I’m ego-centric?

And a hypocrite?

Puh-lease.

conversation with my old self

thanks to audrey

all glory be to God

in loving memory of

Here lies Reverend Rasha:

He

loved God and lusted after man

hated sin and everyone else (those detestable sinners!)

praised the Divine and spit on the weak

lifted his hands to worship and to rain blows

took from the poor and gave to the church

repented from evil and led others down the way that was broad

stood on the Word and the corpses of the murdered.

He removed many a speck

from his brothers’ eye.

I’m sure he’s in a better place.