penning down my thoughts

The world teaches us that if there’s something the heart wants, to go all out to fight for it. But God has made everything beautiful in its time. Therein lies the struggle between the lust of the world and God-given patience.

The world nudges us in the moment, tempting us in confidence, into seemingly good decisions. But The Father isn’t tempted and doesn’t tempt. Our hearts are pulled apart as we wrestle with our innermost desires.

The world screams us to just do it. We have a choice though.

I marvel at the great impossibility – that such trivial creatures as us have the ultimate authority to decide where our paths eventually lead to. Therein lies yet another paradox huh? What is free will if it’s given by God?

Is there really a point to all this pondering? I would think not. But it’s what we overthinkers do.

yup.

struggle

Remember this moment. Remember your failure to keep up. Remember the feeling of conflict. Remember this awkward dilemma. Remember.

What’s the point in doing this? I always forget. My mind is just not in the zone man. It’s in a haze.
Why am I always forgetting? Forgetting my worth, my joy, my purpose. I live in a state of constant disappointment. No, not a state. A cycle of wilfully self-deceived ups and downs. Or is it? That’s the thing, I can’t decide. It’s quite funny actually. How I’m helplessly stuck in this “cycle”.

Is mental illness real?

Cos it’s my nature to just block it all out and stone. Mute all the responsibilities and expectations and
worries and delusions. But it’s absolute wrong. And I know that.

Thus I cry out to You. In so doing, praying that I put that sliver of trust in You. Even the slightest little bit is fine. As long as there’s a start.

Or am I deluded, maybe I already have that trust in Him.

Hmm. Maybe I’ll think about it tomorrow.