Family

Since this blog is really more for me than anyone else, I figured the future me needs to remember this.

Yesterday I went through some old photos and videos of a trip to Taiwan my family took a few years back. It was really the only “big trip” my family’s been on so far, the rest being to various parts of Malaysia. These photos were mostly taken by my father, who I guess, at that point was quite excited about his new iPhone. Long story short, I found that I could see past whatever beef I had against him to realise that he loves his family and wants nothing but the best for us. However bad this sounds, I guess I hadn’t really internalised that before. I won’t deny that seeing all the genuine smiles on his face kinda moved me (*gasp* I have feelings). Despite all the complaints and nonsense he had to deal with from me and my brother, he still tried hard to smile and love us. They say a mother's love is the greatest of all, but a father's love is a pretty close second.

So, dear future me, please don’t forget to love your family, whoever they become.

3 years

Wow it’s amazing how one can just forget about this blog as easily as a snap of a finger. Almost as amazing as how the very same person can chance upon this blog whilst reminiscing about the past. Who even blogs nowadays? I guess it’s time to re-christen this oddly sparse time capsule of a blog huh? There’s no one word to describe the past 3 years of my teenage life. It was exciting, emotional, fulfilling; yet there were times of despair and regret (SO MUCH REGERET) too. Then again, how much despair can one feel when he’s surrounded by the countless blessings in his life?

Cliché: Whatever’s gone is gone and whatever’s done is done, gotta look forward and move on.

Honestly, right now, the past 3 years don’t matter as much, as cliché as it sounds, what matters is now. Now, I find myself thinking about what I want to do after I ORD, what I’m going to study, which path I’ll take. I find myself asking the people around me for advice, looking up different courses online, heck, even considering driving lessons. I guess this is what adult life is like huh? Having the freedom to make your own decisions brings with it the uncertainty of one’s ability to live with the consequences.  I recently read some article about how it’s alright to be unsure of what the future holds for me and to be confused by the multitude of choices I can make right now. I think I kinda agree. Whatever the future holds, at least I’m confident that the Lord is with me, as I often remind myself.

But… having this reassurance in the Lord would really come in handy when I start dreaming about HER. It’s at times like this when I need to remember that whether I do eventually get the girl is really up to God… right? Sometimes I can’t help but be afraid of being over-passive when I keep this truth in mind. Anddd I end up too confused to function. Oh well, the way I look at it, the only way to advance is to take things as they go and react accordingly.

Sigh such is teenage life, yet I’m so thankful to be living right now.