a letter to the defeated

The very fact that you are reading this is a miracle. Your heart is so fickle, it's truly by God's grace that you're brought back here. Recognise that as much as it was God's will to humble you (and therefore go back to seek His face), it was your full decision to engage in the very act that drove the nails into His hands and feet.

How are you feeling? Detached? Everything's in a haze? Don't wanna think about it? Fearful? Prideful? You'd do better to humble yourself sir. I'm praying for you to. Hurry up and confess it to the people you keep accountable to! The longer you delay it, the less the urgency shall be felt. Lest you forget (as you are prone to), I request that you do it now. 

Entrust yourself to this group of saints that He has blessed you with! Give thanks for their relentless brotherhood. God is so good to you. You better believe it.

So, what was it this time? Morning idleness? Boredom? Breaking your no-phone rule? Whatever it was, cut it now. Whatever it is that caused you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is truly better to suffer this temporary hurt, than to risk deviating from the Divine an inch. Though you don't ever admit it, you're really not wise. If you're even a tad bit unsure of how to cut it, ask. Talk to the brothers our dear Lord has sent your way.

Quiet your hazy heart and ask God to clear the fog. Pray for Him to let you see once more, that which was clouded by the enemy. Cast aside the lies of compromise and believe only that which is Believable. Read His word, and trust in the hope of eternity. Cling not, cherish not the world. For the umpteenth time (do not be discouraged at this), turn your back on the temporal ticklings, look for eternal Joy.

It doesn’t end here. The enemy will use your failure as a despicable opportunity to hammer in the nails of unfaithfulness. If you, by God’s mercy, take a closer look, you’ll see that the ferocity in which he hammers is fuelled by your very own sloth. Do not, ever, for an instant, take your eyes away from the kingdom work. Remember your commitments to our Lord. Never let the tumour of sin metastasize to the ministry. And let’s continue to look forward to the Day, when our dear Master returns to call His good and faithful servant ok?

We are never deserving of His Love, that’s why it’s called Charity. Yet He, oh how He loves the unlovable! Pray for an inkling of Love Himself to rub off on you, that we can pursue Him with a fraction of the intensity in which he runs after us.

Go to Him, my broken spirit. Yet remember that we are indeed victorious. This was written not to affirm you of your filth, but to encourage you, dear Daniel, that the battle is truly truly truly already won! That’s the reason we fight, remember?

Do better now, dear friend.